'Twas a balmy summer evening,
and a goodly crowd was there,
Which well-nigh filled Joe's
barroom, on the corner of the square;
And as songs and witty stories
came through the open door,
A vagabond crept slowly in
and posed upon the floor.
"Where did it come from?"
someone said." The wind has blown it in"
"What does it want?" another
cried. "Some whiskey, rum or gin?"
"Here, Toby, sic 'em, if
your stomach's equal to the work --
I wouldn't touch him with
a fork, he's filthy as a Turk."
This badinage the poor wretch
took with stoical good grace;
In fact, he smiled as tho'
he thought he'd struck the proper place
"Come, boys, I know there's
kindly hearts among so good a crowd --
To be in such good company
would make a deacon proud.
"Give me a drink, that's what
I want - I'm out of funds, you know,
When I had cash to treat
the gang this hand was never slow.
What? You laugh as if you
thought this pocket never held a sou;
I once was fixed as well,
my boys, as any one of you.
"There, thanks, that's braced
me nicely; God bless you one and all;
Next time I pass this good
saloon I'll make another call.
Give you a song? No, I can't
do that; my singing days are past;
My voice is cracked, my throat's
worn out, and my lungs are going fast.
"I'll tell you a funny story,
and a fact, I promise, too.
Say! Give me another whiskey,
and I'll tell what I'll do --
That I was ever a decent
man not one of you would think;
But I was, some four or five
years back. Say, give me another drink.
"Fill her up, Joe, I want
to put some life into my frame --
Such little drinks to a bum
like me are miserably tame;
Five fingers -- there, that's
the scheme -- and corking whiskey, too.
Well, here's luck, boys,
and landlord, my best regards to you.
"You've treated me pretty
kindly and I'd like to tell you how
I came to be the dirty sot
you see before you now.
As I told you, once I was
a man, with muscle, frame, and health,
And but for a blunder ought
to have made considerable wealth.
"I was a painter -- not one
that daubed on bricks and wood,
But an artist, and for my
age, was rated pretty good.
I worked hard at my canvas,
and was bidding fair to rise,
For gradually I saw the star
of fame before my eyes.
"I made a picture perhaps
you've seen, 'tis called the `Chase of Fame.'
It brought me fifteen hundred
pounds and added to my name,
And then I met a woman --
now comes the funny part --
With eyes that petrified
my brain, and sunk into my heart.
"Why don't you laugh? 'Tis
funny that the vagabond you see
Could ever love a woman,
and expect her love for me;
But 'twas so, and for a month
or two, her smiles were freely given,
And when her loving lips
touched mine, it carried me to Heaven.
"Boys, did you ever see a
girl for whom your soul you'd give,
With a form like the Milo
Venus, too beautiful to live;
With eyes that would beat
the Koh-i-noor, and a wealth of chestnut hair?
If so, 'twas she, for there
never was another half so fair.
"I was working on a portrait,
one afternoon in May,
Of a fair-haired boy, a friend
of mine, who lived across the way.
And Madeline admired it,
and much to my surprise,
Said she'd like to know the
man that had such dreamy eyes.
"It didn't take long to know
him, and before the month had flown
My friend had stole my darling,
and I was left alone;
And ere a year of misery
had passed above my head,
The jewel I had treasured
so had tarnished and was dead.
"That's why I took to drink,
boys. Why, I never see you smile,
I thought you'd be amused,
and laughing all the while.
Why, what's the matter, friend?
There's a tear-drop in you eye,
Come, laugh like me. 'Tis
only babes and women that should cry.
"Say, boys, if you give me
just another whiskey I'll be glad,
And I'll draw right here
a picture of the face that drove me mad.
Give me that piece of chalk
with which you mark the baseball score --
You shall see the lovely
Madeline upon the barroom floor."
Another drink, and with chalk
in hand, the vagabond began
To sketch a face that well
might buy the soul of any man.
Then, as he placed another
lock upon the shapely head,
With a fearful shriek, he
leaped and fell across the picture -- dead.