SURVIVAL AWARD Last years winner went to a man who found out moments before making a 300 MPH dent in an Arizona cliff, that the JATO (Jet Assist Take-Off) unit he'd strapped to his car could not be turned OFF once it was turned ON! STAG HUNTER KILLED WHEN PREY FELL AND SQUASHED HIM Poacher Marino Malerba, shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock, and was instantly killed when it fell on him. CATALOG CAUSES DEATH OF FLORIDA SALESMAN (May 18, 1993 San Jose Mercury News) A 24 year old salesman from Hialeah, Fla., was killed near Lantana, Fla., in March when his car smashed into a pole in the median strip of Interstate 95, in the middle of the afternoon. Police said that the man was travelling at 80 mph and, judging by the sales manual that was found open and clutched to his chest, he had been busy reading. BIRD BRAINED PET OWNER PLUNGES TO DEATH CLEANING FEEDER (Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario) A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death, Police said Monday. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled chair Sunday when the accident occured, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony" Honer said. "It's one of those freak accidents. No foul play is suspected." TRUCK REPAIR WORK IS A SCIENCE BEST APPROACHED CAUTIOUSLY (Kalamazoo Gazette, 4-1-95) James Burns, 34, of Alamo, Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what Police described as a "farm type truck". Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so he could ascertain the scource of the troubling noise. Burns clothing caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft". REJECTED LOVER SHOOTS HIMSELF WHILE VANDALIZING CAR (San Jose Mercury News) An unidentified man using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidently shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut. SORRY, WRONG NUMBER! TELEPHONE CALL KILLS SLEEPY GUY (Hickory Daily Record, 12,21,92) Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidently shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C., when awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear. BRIGHTEST LAWYER PROVES YOU CAN JUMP OUT OF A 24 STORY OFFICE (UPI, Toronto) Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A Police spokesman said Gary Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy had previously conducted demonstrations of window strength according to Police reports. Peter Lauwers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200 man association. CIGARETTE LIGHTER MAY HAVE TRIGGERED FATAL EXPLOSION (Indianapolis Star, Dec., 4, 1996) A Jay county man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents rural home about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a .54 caliber muzzleloader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look in the barrel when the gunpowder ignited. PRISON DEATH ROWS SOMETIMES TURN OUT TO BE BATHROOMS Michael Anderson Godwin made news of the Weird post- humously in 1989. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. In March, 1989, sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into an wire and was electrocuted. On January 1, 1997, Laurence Baker, also a convicted murderer once on death row, but later serving a life sentence at the state prison in Pittsburg, PA., was electrocuted by his homemade earphones as he watched his small TV while sitting on his metal toilet. MAN SUCCUMBS TO HIS OWN DEADLY FLATULENCE, DIES (Bloomburg News Service, 25 March) A terrible diet and a room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on the body, but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing from the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside, or had the windows been open, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. He was..."a big man with a huge capacity for creating (this deadly gas)" Three of the rescue people got sick and one was hospitalized. MAN KILLS SELF SLIDING DOWN MOUNTAIN ON FOAM PAD (A.P. Mammoth Lakes) A San Anselmo man died yesterday when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad, authorities said. Matthew David Hubal,22, was pronounced dead at Centinela Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred at about 3:00 AM, the Mono County Sheriff's Department said. Hubal and his friends apparentlyhad hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from the lift towers. The pads are used to protect skierswho might hit the towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It was not known if the tower he hit was one with it's pad removed.